#2 Poor Drug Quality

If you live in Michigan and you like to smoke pot, God help you.

It's not like it's impossible to get marijuana in Michigan. You can do it the same way you'd do it any place else - make the right friends, don't be a putz, et cetera. The problem is what you actually get for your efforts: a bag of what looks like brown, seedy twigs, sprinkled with fart dust.

The good stuff does come around once in a blue moon. However, for the most part, you really start to feel that drugs are to the Big Hand what gasoline was to Mad Max. We're excluded from all the best drug trafficking.

The part that infuriates me is that there is NO REASON for things to be this way. Michigan is a state with tons of open space, small towns, and lonesome highways. Its infrastructure is well suited to getting mota all over the place. I think it's got to be that law enforcement is a big source of revenue in Michigan. No matter where you go, for no particular reason, there are state police everywhere, and they crack down hard.

It's funny to say that, isn't it? "Law enforcement is a big industry in Michigan." It's not an industry at all! It's like saying "health care is a huge business in Michigan." No, dickbag, it's what every state has to do when people get hurt or sick. Likewise, when someone does something illegal and goes to jail, that's not helping the economy. It's not a business. It's misfortune.

It's so damn much misfortune all over the place that it makes me want to get high. OH WAIT.

P.S. the LSD here is so terrible that all the hippies left. And if you've ever tried to get hippies to leave anything, you know how remarkable that is.