#1 No Jobs

OK, let's be honest here. Michigan has no work. It's nearly impossible to get a job here.

The reasons that companies avoid the Mitten like the plague are as numerous as the potential items on this list. I mean, if you live here, and you go out-of-state for a little while, it doesn't exactly feel good to drive back across the state line and see the "Welcome to Michigan" sign again. I can only imagine what it's got to be like when you're financially invested.

The Detroit metro area would always be the #1 place to be in business. But Detroit itself is clearly out of the question - the sheer volume of bribes and gifts you have to hand out to do business in the city is incredible. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is on the take.

So what about the suburbs? Well, some do that. But just because the suburban bureaucrats don't as for as many bribes as Detroit does, that doesn't mean it's a nice place to do business. Most importantly, the urban infrastructure in the Detroit suburbs is a whole other set of problems. Just thinking about the roads, the water system, and the "sewerage" system ... it's somewhere between "headache" and "spontaneous human combustion."

So what about going outside of the suburbs? Well ... there's nothing there. I mean it. Nothing. Many of Michigan's rural towns are practically models of anti-tax anarchy. So thanks to everyone being so cranky about taxes, the schools get next to nothing, and the kids in the schools even less. That means you're not exactly getting the cleverest worker base. I'm not kidding about this. It's a common complaint among Michigan's business community - it's really hard to find employees who can find their own buttholes with both hands and a flashlight.

So we know why no one wants to set up shop here. But why do the companies who are already established here pack up and leave?

Because they are total bastards.